How to Deal With Difficult Teenagers

Parenting "At-Risk Teens" Who are At-Risk Teens? They are teenagers who exhibit behaviour which may put themselves and/or others in dangerous situations. They may be travelling down a path of self-destruction or be on the attack toward others.
Those teens on the attack are easy to identify as you only have to follow their trail of destruction.
The self-destructive teens are harder to identify as not only don't leave a trail, but they often mask their self-destructive behaviour.

So, here are some signs to watch out for: withdrawing from activities/friends/family, grades dropping, personal hygiene deteriorating, seeming more pensive, keeping to themselves and becoming reclusive. They could also be more outgoing, chatty and active.

It's not so much about what they're doing, but what they are doing "differently".
What changes have they made? Are they out of character? So, let's assume you've identified you have an At-Risk Teenager. What do you do about it? You first check yourself, i.e., make sure you are providing effective parenting/leadership.
A good parent/leader provides the following: LOVE, DISCIPLINE & FUN. Love is the easiest as it's already there.
But don't assume they know you love them.
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tell them!!! Fun is sort of up to them at this age but you can still help to guide them to finding activities they enjoy.

Discipline is the tricky one as it provides the most resistance.

We all need discipline in our lives and teens are certainly no exception.

Set up a List of Conduct: rules, chores, boundaries AND consequences.

This is done as a family, you included.
You write down your teen's consequences and let them write down yours. An example of a consequence for you is if you don't get one of your chores done you may be expected to do one of their chores, and vice versa.

This may sound crazy but it's a very effective way to run a household with teenagers. By including yourself on the List of Conduct you are showing your teen you respect them. Teens who are respected have more respect for themselves.
The most important aspect of parenting an At-Risk Teen is how you conduct yourself.

Stay calm, in control and always ready to listen without judgement. Never allow your teen to pull you into a yelling match.
If things are getting heated just quietly say, "We'll talk about this later" and walk away.
Don't say, "We'll talk about this when you calm down" as this is putting blame on them and will only make them more defensive.
Your teen needs you to be strong but if you are truly worried about his/her safety, or the safety of others, don't be afraid to ask for help from a professional.

See a family counsellor, parenting coach or school counsellor/youth worker. Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach